Being that it's been 3 months since my last post, I figured I should go ahead and write another one!
As I'm sure you can guess, many many many things have happened since then. It's very hard to believe how quickly time flies!
The last post was so cheery, it really masked the realities of that time for us. We were all very happy, but very concerned about Maggie. The worry really culminated on our trip to Lafayette. We still hadn't figured out the cause for her vomiting. I hated to see her do it, but it was a relief that my Mom could be there to witness it.
I'm glad she did, because she's the one who saved our lives that trip! She suggested we try a different feeding method. We were using Dr. Brown's bottles. Some sort of fancy "no air" bottles. Well, Maggie really wasn't very good at sucking on those tiny nipples, so she would swallow air the entire time she was eating! Then, when her tummy had all that air in it, she'd get hiccups, swallowing more air! So, with all the pressure on her little gut, where do you think the freshly drank formula would go?? Yep, you guess it...all over the things within a 3 foot radius of her at the time. Well, Mimi went out and got some old fashioned Playtex drop ins that week, and we haven't had a projectile vomit since.
In fact, Maggie has been happier and happier.
I wasn't so lucky. The first 2 months of her life frazzled me. I was in a place I couldn't get out of by myself. The constant worry and lack of sleep left me exhausted, depressed and unhappy. To top it off, Maggie got sick, then I got sick.
It was terrible to see her with her first cold and cough! She had to sleep elevated, so for about 6 weeks after that, she slept in her bouncy seat, and I slept on the couch. We really only had to do it for like 8 days, but she was sleeping so good and was right in eye, ear and arms reach of me. I was satisfied with that.
I wasn't satisfied with my feelings, though. I was tired of being a mess!! I spoke to my doctor, and after bunches of huffing and puffing and justifications, I filled a script for an antidepressant.
Within 2 weeks, I felt brand new. I think that Maggie being healthy and smiling regularly at me didn't hurt much either. :)
I'm glad I did it. I didn't realize how isolated I truly felt here until I took a good, hard look at it. Not having any outlets or family or friends really is difficult when you have a new baby. It's a double edged sword to have a baby, and then feel depressed about it. Its a cycle that starts up....you feel sad and lonely, but then guilty because Motherhood is the best, right??
Well, I know that if I lived in an area where I had a strong support system at my fingertips, I would have been better equipped to handle the strong feelings of being overwhelmed. Don't get me wrong, I HAVE friends and I HAVE a strong support system, I just don't live around the corner from them. 2 hours is an abyss when you can't leave your house.
Anyway....the pills are still working their magic. haha. I feel GREAT! Almost like my old self again.
Speaking of my old self; I know that person is gone. I may have lamented briefly the loss of her. But, really...it has been a relief. A baby is a good excuse to grow up. I think I may have needed one. I enjoy the clarity of full night's sleep (yes, I'm getting it now!!). I enjoy the small pleasures of sunny days and walks in my neighborhood. Life has slowed down, but it is so much cooler now.
There are things I miss about my old self, but it's not the person I once was, it is the people I once knew.
Now, I still know these people. We're still friends on Facebook and try to make plans to see each other when I'm in Lafayette. But, it's not like it was before. I am a mom now. I can't pick up and go party for the weekend in town. I can barely go to dinner. And, I certainly can't enjoy a few drinks and stay up all night talking these days. But, that's the nature of having a bunch of childless friends. I have to say No a lot, and then people stop asking. Such is life. When I'm available to start those things again, they'll be taking the trip down Motherhood drive. haha. But, they aren't solely to blame. I'm not making any phone calls these days either.
So, if you're reading this and you think I'm talking about you....call me. I miss you.
My computer died a couple of days ago, so unfortunately I don't have too many new pictures of Maggie. Here are some relatively recent ones. Just a few days old...
She's been a developmental pro these last few weeks. She's really great at tummy time. She grabs her right foot with her right hand every chance she gets. she LOVES bouncing in the bouncer. She laughed Monday, but I haven't been able to get her to do it since. I'm trying REALLY HARD, though.
She's so sweet. There will be another blog soon, when I get my computer back up and running.
In the meantime, you should also go check out my youtube page for very recent and regularly updated videos of Maggie being super adorbs!!