As the date of introduction nears, I continue to get more and more anxious. I cannot wait to meet this little person. Finally get to see its face and touch it's little fingers and toes. Dress it up in cute little outfits and hang out at the house. :)
There is a reality that is slowly setting in that in a time that could be anywhere from 6-10 weeks, this introduction is going to happen.
The anxiety is palpable. And, following the current trends, just like the books all tell me, I am experiencing the mood swings to prove it. I still feel a little underprepared, and I think not knowing the sex of the baby has a little to do with that. I only have one item of clothing, though I window shop online at least an hour every day. I like unisex, neutral baby clothes, but there is limited selection, really. I want my kid to be dressed in more than yellow, green and white.
Well, next Tuesday, I have another sonogram scheduled. And, since this little child has spent more time head-down, I think this one will be "the one." It would be very convenient if it's true, since my shower is next weekend.
I haven't spoken much about my first visit with my new doctor, or any of the subsequent visits. Well, no news is good news. I have no complaints. From day one, Dr. Russell has been funny, engaging and willing to sit and answer questions with honesty and straight-forwardness. He has an extremely friendly staff that SMILES at me. I was nervous for the first visit. I had a list of questions in my little memo book. I was worried he wouldn't take me seriously, or think I was some whacked out hippy. But, he really never flinched. He commended me on my commitment and answered my questions honestly, no sugar-coating, no "PC" answers. I really appreciated that. His nurses/staff were all smiles and laughing and I could tell they enjoyed working there. That says something about a doctor.
The next few visits were routine, and I have to brag here: my BP has been perfect. The last reading was like 95/73. Which - if you don't know - is AWESOME. I'm gaining the required amount of weight. No more. My ass is still flat (a little disappointing.) I am gaining a little chunk here and there, which is just more to love. The baby has been growing well and moving really well. I was hooked up yesterday for a non-stress test and the baby practiced it's Olympic pummel horse routine. I was taken off monitoring after 10 minutes (which they were expecting 15-25) because my baby reacted so well to the apple juice.
I guess I was made to be pregnant. My only complaint - and this is very recently - is my back is beginning to fatigue. I get sore spots....not really even pain, just areas that don't feel "normal." I know most of it is from my posture, which was always blah. I walk down the hall at work and have to stay conscious of my shoulders. They'll be at my ears if I'm not careful. I guess I'm trying to help myself breathe, now that the baby is starting to take my my lung space.
I'm not waddling yet.
I am all baby. I know this is true because at least 10 people tell me every day how ginormous I am and that I "for sure" have more than one baby in there. One girl - who I don't know - said "wow, you must be about done" and when I told her I had 12 weeks left, she just shook her head, exhaled slowly and walked away. I didn't know what to make of that. And then my students - who I love, even after this - tell me every day how huge I am. I am not huge! I can still see my toes! Kind of.
My boss - who I rarely interact with - sees me and starts pretending to "clear" the area like a WIDE LOAD is coming through. He's hilarious. Let me tell you.
But, even though I am getting big and people like to tell me how big I am, it's worse to have them not say anything at all. There's one person that I encounter regularly who has this look. I don't know how to describe it....pity, maybe? Like I'm a hobbly ole cripple barely making it down to my class. Looking at me like at any moment my world will just collapse. It's strange. I can tell you this: I like that look a lot less than the tummy rubs and Buddha and twin comments.
Wow, this was one disorderly blog. Let me end with this:
I am having a wonderful pregnancy. I'm healthy! My baby is healthy! I really really like Dr. Russell and his staff! I'm scared to death most days! My family is awesome! I'm nervous and anxious and excited and can't wait to buy baby clothes!
I wouldn't change it for the world!!