Saturday, January 1, 2011

Holiday cheer...

The last two weeks have been so crazy! Holidays have a way of making you totally crazy and totally worn out.

We had several firsts. Her first Christmas, her first road trips and meeting some family.

I had so much anxiety about the road trips. I am pretty comfortable putting her in the car and going to run an errand. I still have some anxiety about everyone else on the road, but I know that I am doing everything right. Gah help anyone who would hit my car with my baby inside it. I would go all Mama Bear on their asses! I literally imagine mauling faces.

Bringing her around town is one thing, but rocketing down the road at 70 miles an hour is much different in its own way. In town, the percentage of car-missiles are higher, but they aren't flying at death speeds. On the highway, there's also truck-missiles and bigwheel-missiles flying at death speeds.

I was so nervous. I took much of my anxiety out on my poor husband, nit-picking his every move for a few days. Then, the day before Xmas Eve, I shut completely down, like my mind was in denial that anything was going to happen. I guess it had become too much.

On Friday, xmas eve, Mike and I had a very relaxed day, up until having to get ready for the trip over to Morgan City. We were scheduled to go to his Aunt Brenda's, Uncle Paul's and then to his parents for presents. We managed all of it. Maggie was an angel during all of it. I mean, she's unaware that she's rocketing down the highway. She's pretty unaware that she's doing anything. I know that she knew she wasn't home, but she didn't seem to mind. She got to meet LOTS of new people and hang out with some of her biggest fans (Abba, Pawpaw and bisAbuela).

We got home late, around 11:30. I was ready to leave. Mama Bear was very close to coming out of hibernation.

On Saturday, after presents, I was leaving to stay a few days with my Mom in Lafayette. I realized that morning how unprepared I was to bring Maggie anywhere for that many days. I wanted to leave at 10, but we didn't leave til 12:00 noon. I had to pack everything we use at home to make us comfortable. I used 2 suitcases and every inch of available space in my car, and some of Mike's truck. When we got there, everyone laughed at the amount of stuff and that Maggie filled the entire large suitcase from the set. For a person that can't do much, she sure needs some stuff!
The Lafayette trip was less hectic than the Morgan City trip. Saturday, we spent with my mom. Sunday, we went to my Mema & Pepa's. My Dad's parents hadn't met Maggie yet. I was very excited for them to see her, since she looks so much like I did when I was a baby. Another little Reed baby.

I was pretty exhausted Sunday, and I think the traveling was getting to Maggie, because she wasn't really herself. She was still a good baby and got a good passing around, but when it was time to go, it was time to go.

Monday, we didn't do anything. Just relaxed with Mimi. Nanny came by to see her and even Sara! She got to sleep on Nanny's chest and made all babies everywhere very jealous.

Tuesday, she got to meet Aunty Claire and I got a beautiful, very unique locket necklace from her to put pictures of my sweet girls in. Then, we left.

We had a great time, but it was nice to get home to our smells and routines.

Thursday before Christmas, Mike's sister Jessie (Tattie to Isabella and Maggie) came and spent the night. I hadn't had anything to drink since the weekend before the weekend before we found out we were pregnant, and thought that I wanted a cocktail.

I had seen Tony Bordain (<3) drink a rum punch on his Monday night episode of No Reservations and wanted one. Jess and I head over to the store, and we buy a premixed version from Malibu Coconut Rum. I saw that it had 15% alcohol in it, and didn't really think much of it.

I had one condition to having a little drink. If I was going to have a drink, Mike couldn't. I wanted to make sure that at least one of us was completely lucid for her. Mike agreed because he's awesome.

We got home and poured ourselves some drinks. It was TERRIBLE! We added some orange juice and it made it tolerable, but I'd be lying if I said that after about 1/4 of it, I was giggly and silly. I haven't been that silly since I tasted my first Bartles & James wine cooler. For the purposes of Mom-sanity, I'll leave out the age at which that happened.

Well, I was happy. Giddy. We watched crap TV and laughed about stuff. After my first drink, I made another. I felt pretty buzzed. Before I started that second drink, I looked over at my husband holding my sweet baby girl and I got a little emotional. Then, a little emotional turned ALOT emotional. I realized that after 6 weeks of her life, for the first time, I felt like I couldn't hold her if I wanted to. I felt guilty. I felt lonely. I felt HORRIBLE. I don't know if I need to say this, but I didn't have anything else to drink after that. I vowed to never drink again. Then, I went to bed, depressed.

For NYE, I will say that I had 2 glasses of champagne over the course of about 3 hours, and got very relaxed, but just enjoyed it.

I think something changed for me that night of the Rum Punch. I knew that I would never drink like I did before Maggie ever again. Life has a new meaning now, and she is it. Mama Bear on alcohol is just not a good combo.

I haven't uploaded any pictures from the holidays yet, I will soon. Maybe tomorrow, if you're lucky!

Maggie is 2 months old today, the first day of 2011. Best New Years Day I've ever had.