The Beginning....

Over the last couple of years, I have had - on and off - what is known in certain circles as baby fever. For those of you who are lucky enough to be completely unfamiliar with baby fever, here is a brief definition: "the nearly uncontrollable urge to procreate and carry a child with complete disregard to anyone and everyone else and their feelings regarding the subject." That is my definition....let's see what Webster says....well, Webster didn't say anything. So, here's Urban Dictionary's: "When a girl starts feeling a strong desire to have a baby, possibly to the point of obsession." I couldn't agree more.

Well, the fevers came and went. Sometimes the temperature was higher than others. There were tears, laughter and frustration. (all mine)

Then, I got married. The fever kind of went away. It was something else entirely. I wanted a baby, but was fearful. I was fearful that I would lose something of myself that I had always had. I was fearful that I would change, or my life would change in some irreversible way. I mean, all of that is true. When you have a baby, everything changes. Fear of the unknown. But also, fear of the known.

Some people would say I am lucky. I don't disagree. I am lucky on many levels. I have a wonderful family. I married into a wonderful family. I have a wonderful husband, and he has a wonderful daughter. We live in a home we own, and I drive a new car. Lucky, lucky, and lucky again. I think I am lucky in a way, but I also think that I'm not living a life I don't deserve. So....why would I change any of this for a baby?! Hahahha

My husband Mike has a daughter from a previous relationship. She is smart, funny, beautiful, talented and sassy. And, she's managed to be all of these things before she even has turned 3! I have known her since she was 5 months old. I was nervous at first. Spent a lot of time worrying about how this little person thought of me (boy, was I wasting a lot of time.) I worried about crossing boundaries with her father and grandparents. I worried about introducing her to my family. I worried about her when she wasn't with us. You know what I didn't really worry about? My ability to be a mother to her. It all seemed to feel natural. Now, don't get me wrong, there were some moments that didn't feel natural. And those moments usually involved poop. But, having her in my life really prepared me for motherhood. Helped me identify the type of mother I am and the type I don't want to be.


Isabella - or Izzy, as we call her - is my favorite person. And, I had something to do with that!

Well, after our marriage in October, we started talking about having our own kids. We found out we were pregnant in March! So, anyway...thinking about having, to we're having changed in a matter of months. 4 months to be exact.

I never expected it to happen so quickly. I had resigned myself to the fact that it may be a few more months til I was totally ready. So, we decided to adopt an adult Great Dane.

We drove like 15 hours to Waco, TX for Moses, a big, beautiful dog. He was sweet, laid back and huge. Not to mention, full of fleas and ticks and diarrhea. We get him home, and the next day I read a positive pregnancy test.

Holy crap. That's what I thought. When I saw Mike's face, I couldn't help but smile because he had a smile that was so big I thought his ears would pop off. Ha!

Anyway, since that day, there's been trials (an ER trip) and tribulations (giving up Moses), but all in all, it's been a very positive pregnancy. Our families are elated (of course) and Izzy is happy to become a big sister.


So, without further ado, I'd like to introduce you to the newest Conner, Parasiticutie.


Hi, Baby Conner!

And, I hope that the length of this blog isn't totally discouraging with the, but I'm fitting 4 months into this first post. And, I didn't even begin to discuss the general discomforts and unusual surprises of pregnancy.....I'll save that for later.